Thane3

After his cult failed to create mainstream success, Thane took up playing the piano. He played piano every day for 2 years and eventually got bored and decided to break his piano apart. In the bottom though was something peculiar, some form of alien egg that had sentience within, emanating a sort of weird aura around it. Playing 20hz signals into it caused the egg to hatch, giving birth to the other Aphex Twin, delighted by this, Thane consumed the Aphex Twin, pissing off several thousand fans in the process, but also creating some weird side effects.

Thane has been 16 for 10 years now, has grown 4 legs for cheating at Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance Viva Revolución and also occasionally drives a small plane around New Zealand, freaking out tribes and animals alike. Unlike ordinary humans, Thane also consists of 20% lemons.

If you would like a Thane to sound a do a sound a do, just contact me and be all "Oi, bitch, fuck over here and make me some sounds". Or something. If you're looking for somebody to play at your bar mitzvah or gig/night, then just drop my name into a hat, throw it into the rain and wait for your own Thane to grow (laptop not included).